At 28 you should be too old to be experimenting with drugs. But I'm at least 30 years too young to be messing about with the blue tablets in the palm of my hand. I'm not normally coy about drugs, but there's something about the idea of Viagra that makes me pause. These are not the sort of things you get given in a club. These are huge, thick-looking, old people's pills.
I take a deep breath and pass one over to my boyfriend. 'Cheers,' he says, with a nervous smile. I put the blue diamond on my tongue and swallow it down with a heavy gulp.
I first heard about taking Viagra for fun when my boyfriend's housemate Dominic bounded into the kitchen one morning, grinning and flushed with a new-found cockiness.
'What's the greatest number of times you guys have had sex in one night?' he demanded. 'Take that number and double it, because that's a night on Viagra. You've got to try it. You both should.'
I laughed, but wasn't too surprised - there are few things my friends wouldn't try. We have good jobs but few responsibilities. Even though some of us are doctors, journalists, management consultants and lawyers, we spend our free time indulging ourselves like wealthy, overgrown teenagers.
It turns out that many of my friends have enjoyed taking Viagra, either on its own or in combination with other recreational drugs. If you are used to taking illegal substances at the weekend, the prospect of popping something medically approved shouldn't be very daunting.
My friends have a few cautionary tales, though. One says Viagra stops him from sleeping properly. Another complains of a blue haze affecting his vision whenever he takes it. And my friend Rahul once found it an embarrassing inconvenience. 'I popped it one time and failed to get laid,' he tells me. 'I walked back from the girl's house the next day, and the mere chaffing of my boxer shots against my penis as I walked turned me on.'
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If I am being offered Viagra, then there must be a large market for it on the recreational scene. I decide to investigate.
Viagra was initially designed as a heart drug, but clinical trials showed it was no more effective than cheaper medicines already on the market. When Pfizer tried to abandon the trial, the male patients refused to stop taking it. It was only then that the side effect that has made Viagra famous was discovered.
Dr Graham Jackson, a consultant cardiologist at Guy's hospital, was part of the original research team when Pfizer developed Viagra. He explains that there are actually three different drugs on the market: Viagra, Cialis and Levitra. Levitra and Viagra work in about an hour and last around six hours, but Cialis takes two hours to work and lasts up to 48 hours.
'There's a recreational circus going on with these drugs,' he says. 'You can get Viagra from any cab driver now. Nothing much would happen if someone without erectile dysfunction took Viagra, although they might think they feel better, psychologically. But it would make a difference if you took it along with other drugs. Cocaine, marijuana, ecstasy, alcohol, nicotine, crystal meth - they all can cause erection problems. Viagra dilates the blood vessels and allows blood to flow into the penis when these drugs are stopping it.'
Little is known about the effects of Viagra on women, and Dr Jackson thinks results will never be proven clinically. Pfizer set up a female sexual dysfunction unit a few years ago, comparing Viagra in women to a placebo, but the study had to be stopped because 85 per cent of the women responded to the placebo. It seems that even the very idea of Viagra is enough to make some women aroused.
'There's no documented evidence of any major catastrophe with people taking these drugs recreationally, but it's not the sort of thing that's reported,' he says. I'm surprised when he tells me Viagra could even make certain illegal drugs safer: 'Cocaine is a very dangerous drug because it causes coronary arteries to shut down and can give you a massive heart attack. It's dreadful. And in a funny way, Viagra can actually help a cocaine user, because it does the opposite thing to the blood vessels.'
The danger with Viagra comes when users buy it online or from dealers instead of going through a doctor. 'Men with erection problems and no cardiac symptoms are cardiac patients until proved otherwise. They should get their drugs from a doctor and be evaluated. But for most young people, taking Viagra won't do any harm. Nothing much would happen.'
With this in mind, I think there can be no harm in trying it once. I've heard that you can now get Viagra over the counter at Boots, but only if you are a man aged between 30 and 65, and the idea of explaining myself to a pharmacist is distinctly unappealing. Instead, I browse through my junk mailbox to see what's on offer. All the junk mail directs me to the same single website: a Canadian online pharmacy promising Viagra, Levitra and Cialis for upwards of $7 a tablet. Dr Jackson had warned of buying Viagra this way: you can never know if the right ingredients are in the pills, and in what quantities.
My best option is to buy some from my friend Andy, a regular user who gets his supply from a dealer he trusts. He is pleased to oblige, and produces a bulging wrap of clingfilm containing at least 15 tablets. For a man who claims to have taken Viagra 'only eight or nine' times, he has a very healthy supply. He charges me a tenner for two chunky pills and sends me on my way with a wink.
When the big night arrives, I'm not really in the mood, and my boyfriend is reluctant. He has never had any problem performing before, no matter what substances he has taken, and he's worrying about what the extra encouragement might do to him. I'm a little concerned about that, too - what if it does nothing to me but turns him into a priapic pest all night?
We sit awkwardly on my sofa, waiting for the pills to take effect. After about 45 minutes, I'm feeling a little flushed. Boyfriend has gone a bit red in the face, too. Dr Jackson mentioned this was a possible side effect, but I've cranked the heating up in my flat, so maybe I'm just imagining things. Boyfriend says he still feels nothing.
But 15 minutes later, I'm as red-faced as a clown, and certainly relaxed. There's a comforting buzz going through me, even though my heart is racing. Boyfriend looks up at me. 'I think it works,' he says. 'See what you think.'
And the evidence before me seems to suggest that it does - for him, at least. I begin to notice a slight difference in myself, too - perhaps a heightened sensitivity? I can't be sure.
After three hours of not being sure, we pass out, exhausted.
In the cold light of day, I wonder if I'll do Viagra again. It's not an aphrodisiac. It doesn't make you more aroused; it just distributes blood around your body in a certain way, and in my boyfriend's case, a particularly welcome way. Dr Jackson isn't quite right when he says Viagra won't have any effect on a healthy young man - my boyfriend certainly had some added exuberance - but the difference is mechanical, rather than emotional.
It's the idea of Viagra that is powerful. The idea is enough for women to become aroused even if they are taking a placebo pill. It's enough for my friends to believe they can be porn stars for a night. But the truth of Viagra is that it is a failed heart drug with an unusual side effect. It's a drug manufactured for people that have syndromes and conditions. And that idea just isn't sexy enough for me to want to take it again.
My boyfriend says never say never, though.
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